Rutuja Janhavi

I always knew I was adopted. It wasn’t something that was kept secret. I realized it in the most natural way. My mum would always say one of her fondest memories was when they were able to bring me home from the center for the first time. It just clicked for me.   

I never cared about the fact that I was adopted. It was just another fact of my life. I’m often met with surprise when I choose to share this fact. I would always be asked, “When did you find out you were adopted? Wouldn’t I want to meet my biological parents? If not, wouldn’t I want to at least know who they were? The answer has always been no. 

When I was 10 or 12 my mum had mentioned to me that when I turned 18 I had the choice to find out about my biological parents. My answer was “Why?” at the time. It still is. I had no interest in opening that door. I was happy where I was, my parents were my parents, whether they created me or not. 

People still have the idea that family means being related by blood. Our family is an example that this is not true. I think the emphasis on blood relations should be put aside. We find family everywhere. Be it your friends, or your pets. 

Growing up was just like any other family, nothing felt different, nothing felt out of place. We were just like any other family. Since my parents are very open, I wasn’t too bothered about being adopted. I gave it no importance in my life. However, hearing others talk about adoption or me being adopted, like it was a huge deal, sometimes made me feel like I should have taken it a bit more seriously. It seemed the grownups, excluding my parents, had a lot more hang-ups about it, rather than me, the adoptee. They felt like having an adopted child was not the same as having one biologically.

When I was about four years old, I asked for a little sister. Soon we were bringing home another adopted girl. I was happy. She, unlike me, had a lot more questions about her adoption. She was curious about things that I didn’t give much thought to. I realized how differently each adoptee dealt with their adoption.  

Adoption is a beautiful thing. There is still a stigma around it in society that I wish I could squash. Just yesterday, in light of the Calcutta rape case, and other such news my sister and I talked about how we didn’t want to bring children into this world. Then we thought in such situations adoption makes perfect sense. There are so many children out there who need a family.

Ironically, that is exactly how my parents thought more than 30 years ago!

Rutuja Janhavi

rjanhavi@gmail.com

Rutuja is a Pune based illustrator and comic artist.